The last week and a half was insane and hectic, and that was before having to put Beefheart down. The fiancé was at Zia Park in Hobbs, NM and I was taking care of all of the horses in Albuquerque by myself. I had to run three horses while he was gone, two of which were in back to back and I had to get them ready by myself. I had to run one the day after everything with Beefs happened. Two days after that, I had to make the five hour drive to Hobbs (for the third time in three weeks) with the fiancé's aunt and our jockey for a stakes race. That filly didn't run well. I was beyond exhausted, pretty much ready to collapse and just wanted to get to the hotel and crash. Then I found out that our rider needed to get back to Albuquerque that night. No one had mentioned this to me before. I was done, literally could not have driven another five hours. Couldn't take anymore. I told the fiancé that he could drive them back, I would pack everything in Hobbs and bring the horses back the next day, but I absolutely 100% refused to be in the truck for another five hours. I was pissed. Then I cried. It was the last straw, too much for me to handle, and I just broke down. I rarely say no and I'm even worse at standing up for myself, but I got pushed well beyond my limit.
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| One of the horses did run well while the fiancé was gone. Click HERE to watch the replay of Sandy's race (Race 8 ALW at Albuquerque). I'm not in the win picture because I was back at the barn getting the next horse ready to run. |
It ended up that the fiancé and I stayed and our rider and Ty's aunt went back. The jockey, my friend, seemed pretty pissed at me and I don't really blame him. He wasn't there that week and there was no way he could have known the mental and physical toll that it had taken on me. I'm sure I came across as some spoiled witch throwing a hissy fit. The fiancé's aunt seemed more understanding, but I felt like a complete asshole for not being the one to take her back to Albuquerque.
Anyway, that was supposed to just be short. Oops.
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| I miss him so much! |
I had entered the recognized show this weekend with Beefs. It would have been our first recognized show together and I had really been looking forward to it. Obviously, the show became the least of my worries when Beefheart coliced, but it added to the heartache of losing him.
MB and JL know how much I love to show, how it keeps me focused. MB offered me her horse to ride since she wasn't able to show due to running the 'L' judging program during it.
I had planned on going to the show just to help everyone else. I didn't even know if I could make it through one. However, I needed to get back to riding so that I didn't shut down. The longer I waited, the harder it would get. The show gave me something else to focus on, a goal.
So, meet Volunteeer aka Buster:
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| What the hell is going on with my equitation?! |
He is an almost 18 hand Hannoverian and the sweetest thing in the world. He is safe, talented, and kind. I rode him for the first time early last week and got along with him fairly well so MB and I decided that Buster could handle a show together. I only got one other ride on him at the farm and a walk (with a tiny bit of trotting) at the show grounds the day before the show. Buster is such a good boy, he didn't need the living piss ridden out of him on warm-up day. So, There weren't many opportunities for Buster and I to get to know each other. This was pretty obvious in our class the first day.
To be continued....
