Showing posts with label Humor. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Humor. Show all posts

Friday, November 7, 2014

Why equestrian husbands are the most patient men in the world

Let's face it, equestrians are of a different breed. We have one track minds (our horses), different priorities (our horses), and tend to obsess over weird things (our horses). Our entire thought process is completely different from the "normal" non-equine humans. Obviously being married/engaged/dating us horse crazies is not an easy task and here are a few examples of why:

"You'll have to handle dinner tonight. I have to go out and make Sweat Pea his bran mash."

"I had to use your toothbrush to get the dirt out of the the tighter spaces on my saddle. I will get you a new one in the next day or two."

"I know that it seems like a lot of money for a pair of breeches, but they were 10% off. I saved $40. Jeez...."

"I realize that our anniversary is Friday, but I have a show this weekend and need to study my tests. Can we celebrate on Monday?"

"Peaches doesn't technically NEED a $200 bonnet, but it just looks so cute on him! Doesn't it look cute on him?!"

"The new dishwasher got all of my bits perfectly spotless! Totally worth the money!"

"I got planted again and have to go to the ER. Before you come to the hospital, can you stop by the barn and make sure that Honey is okay? She seemed really upset afterwards."

"Can you hold Darling for the farrier? The man doesn't wear deodorant and his butt crack is always hanging out. I shouldn't have to be subjected to that kind of torture."

"Sure, going to the Super Bowl would be fun, but don't you think watching all of the dressage rides at the World Cup would be a lot better?"

"Can you come out with me while I ride today? I need someone to take pictures of me riding so that I can put them on my blog."

"You're okay with holding Pumpkin in between my classes right? Also, carry my grooming bag, I need you to wipe my boots after I get on and brush her tail before I go into the arena. Don't forget to grab my water bottle."

"What do you mean it looked like a good ride?!! Did you not see that canter transition?! Ugh! This is SO embarrassing! It was a HORRIBLE ride!"

"I need you to video my ride. No, not yet. Wait until I warm up a little. Why are you not videoing?! That was the best she's ever warmed up and you missed it!"

*crying* "...and then the judge said that Princess needs to stay more consistently connected and I've worked so hard on that already and we've gotten better and it's still not good enough and I don't think it will ever be good enough and we're never going to be able to move up if it's not good enough..." *sobbing*

"So, I realize that I've gotten completely behind on laundry lately. To make up for it, I threw in all of your underwear with the clothes I was wearing when I body clipped Sweetheart. Man, that horse hair is itchy!"

"Yes, the board is more than our house payment, but you should see this barn! It's immaculate! I don't want anything but the best for Love Bug."

*kiss* "You're so handsome." *kiss* "And perfect." *kiss* "And wonderful." *kiss* "And fantastic." *man standing in background shaking his head while woman says good bye to the horse*

And that is why horse husbands are the best, most wonderful, and patient men in the world!

Saturday, June 28, 2014